fun in london

On Wednesday (the day I arrived) Lisa had over a couple of her closest friends - A and K - and we had a vegetarian green thai curry and way too much wine. It was a lovely evening and I was able to meet a couple of really great women. A is an aussie but has been here for years and K is from Kent, I think. Anyway it was really a great night, though my stomach didn't appreciate it the next day!

Yesterday Lisa and I went shopping. We hit Oxford street and went to some of the big department stores -the names all escape me at the moment- and then went to Tottenham Court road to continue the search for one of her Christmas gifts. We ended up finally buying most things online as it's cheaper, and as it turned out, easier.

In the evening we were invited to the Of Montreal concert (or gig as they say here) - which was hilarious for me, since I'm from there and only just left there. The band, however, is not from Montreal... They're American from the States somewhere. They were pretty good and I'm sure there are people I know who are big fans of this band and might be a little jealous that I just happened onto their concert... sorry!

Before the show Lisa and I headed to the local for a pint. My first real pint here, actually. It was nice to sit and chat, we hadn't really had time for it before. I kept thinking to myself how "normal" (whatever that means...) it feels for me to be here. That could change, I know, but for now, there isn't any real culture shock, no homesickness, no wondering what the hell I'm doing... it's all very different from Korea in that sense.

Today I started to seriously look for and apply to jobs. Now I'm waiting to hear anything. I'm going to continue over the weekend to look for something. On Monday I have an appointment at one of the recruiting agencies that I've signed up with. They'll want my banking information - but I don't have any yet. I was going to go get an account today, but the lines were all so long at ALL of the banks that I would have been in line until next week anyway! So, I'll go on Monday afternoon. I still haven't decided on a bank, but Lloyd's is looking like the best right now... we'll see how difficult it proves to get an account here.

So, stay tuned for more on London and the adventures of getting a bank account! Not sure what's on for the weekend yet, but I'm sure it'll be fun no matter what it is, just because I'm in London!!! Also, more pictures to come soon.

the funk that was

well, a few days have passed since my "inflammatory" post about korea and culture shock. i'm feeling much better now, thank you. like i said, culture shock comes in waves and it's different for everyone... i managed to surf through that one and only really fell off my board once.

i think one of the hardest parts of culture shock is seeing it for what it is, and that post helped me. so did a good friend of mine here in korea. she helped me put my feelings into perspective, helped me see the other side of the story... something which i was blind to precisely because of the way i was feeling. so a thanks to you (you know who you are) for a great evening of wine and cheese and intellectually stimulating conversation!

today is actually my nine month anniversary here. i know it isn't really that long, but it's still a milestone. a little more than three months to go and when i break it down, i can do it. so happy anniversary to me!

back to stage two

They say culture shock can last for years. I believe them. I was having a good run of things, despite all the 'crap'; I was feeling pretty good, in general, about being here. The last week has seen a resurgence of my culture shock. I’m not sure what triggered it, but everything i do makes it worse.

A friend of mine recently wrote a post on her blog about how when you’re far away from home emotions are heightened. When you’re up, you’re really UP, and when you’re down, you’re really DOWN. I’m in the latter at the moment.

I think it may have something to do with the realization that I’ll be going home in about three months; then what? I’ve been thinking too much about the future and it’s freaking me out. It’s also making me feel like I'm wasting my time here... I just want to get on with it.

It may also have something to do with having gotten out of here and seen something different in Japan. It just brought home a lot of things about Korea that I don’t like.

It’s also partly realizing that Koreans don’t trust foreigners. Everywhere I go I get sidelong glances and dirty looks from the Koreans I see. They look at me like I’m about to steal the candy out of their babes’ mouths. Last night was the clincher, I won't go into details, but a bunch of us were out for the night, and the Koreans kept treating us all like criminals; searching purses, accusing us of not paying, and guarding us like inmates about to break out. Compounded with how I've been feeling all week, it made for a VERY bad night, and an increase in my hate-on for Korea.

All I wanted to do was come to Korea, teach their children some English and have an experience I would never forget. Well, I certainly won’t forget the past eight and half months, and the next three are bound to be just as memorable. Korea, as I’ve said many times before, is a homogeneous and xenophobic society, that is unwelcoming to anything from the outside. I just can’t deal with it anymore… I’m sick of pretending like everything in Korea is so fantastic and wonderful. Yes, there are good things about being here, but right now I'm having a hard time seeing that side of things.

I guess this week the bad stuff is just playing center stage in my head… I feel like I’m back in October again. Stuck in stage two culture shock with no way out but to sit and wait for time to pass. Hopefully the next few months will pass as quickly as the last eight have and I’ll get through it. I know I can, I just can’t see how right now.

the trip you don't want to make...

one of my stitches has been consumed by my skin... that might be a problem when they take it out. stupid doctor.

i guess i still haven't actually written about the hospital... according to one of my students korean hospitals are either "really good" or "really bad". i guess i ended up in one of the latter. oh well, lesson learned, right? but really, when it's a emergency do you have choice?

the hospital was kind of dark inside when we got there. it wasn't even 7 PM so i'm not sure why it was so dark... the lights may have been turned off or simply insufficient, i'm not sure. i walked up to the counter and there was a young man. he didn't speak any english, so it's a good thing i had the korean man with me... even though he didn't speak english either. at least they could communicate together and the korean man knew what was wrong with me, so he explained. they wanted my passport, which i didn't think to bring, but he was relieved when i handed him my health card. (which isn't really a card, but a peice of paper).

they brought me around a corner, down a short hallway, and through some doors into the "emergency" area. a couple of nurses were standing behind a counter. i showed them my hand and made a stabbing gesture. one of them came from behind the counter and pulled me toward a gurny. "sit down" at least there was some english. the gurny was covered in that brown fake leather that so many couches are upholstered with. no sheet. no giant roll of paper. nothing. just the brown fake leather that has probably seen thousands of other patients. ew.

i sat holding my hand and looking at the floor. it had spots and splotches of dried blood all over the area that i was in. ew. i couldn't beleive it. but i knew at that moment that i wasn't "in kansas" anymore... and that i had to watch carefully to make sure the proper hygenic precautions would be taken with me. the nurse came over and took my blood pressure, making sure to ask me "mensa?" what has my period got to do with anything? but she wanted to know when i had last had it. i told her.

a couple of minutes later a man came over to me, i'm not sure if he was a doctor, nurse or orderly, but he grabbed my hand, opened the wound (which by this point had stopped bleeding) and walked away. a nurse came over and started putting all kinds of things on various trays. she looked at me and told me to lie down. i started to, but she pointed at my feet and said "shoes". (what IS it with the shoes???) so i took them off and laid back but still watched her to make sure the utensils, needles, etc... were coming out of sterile packs. they were. thank god!

a few minutes later another man - the doctor i assume since he stitched me up - came over. he didn't even look at me, let alone say anything to me. he grabbed my hand. i looked away. the next thing i knew i was experiencing more pain than i had when i stabbed myself. he was anesthetizing my hand to give me the stitches, but it felt (again, i wasn't looking - not good with stuff like that) like he had jabbed the needle straight into the wound. it must have sounded like every emergency room horror story, because i was screaming like freddy kruger was after me. i've heard people scream in situations like that, but never imagined i'd be one of them. it hurt. a lot. anyway, finally, or thankfully, my hand went numb, and he started stitching me up. he didn't ask first if it was frozen, just started stitching. i guess he didn't care either way, or maybe he knew.

i could feel the stitches going in because they were pulling on my hand. it kept moving involuntarily and the doctor was getting visibly aggravated by it, but still said nothing. a few minutes later it was over and he just walked away, never speaking a single word, or looking me in the face. way to make a foreigner feel better in a bad situation. the nurse told me to make sure and not get it wet for TWO weeks. "what?" i said. i didn't beleive her and i know it's total crap, but i made sure there wasn't a communication problem and counted out fourteen days on my fingers. she nodded. what a load of bull. then i was alone on the fake leather gurney.

no one told me to stay or what to do, so i got up to look for the korean who drove me. i couldn't find him. i didn't know what to do. was i supposed to pay? there was a sign that said "cashier" but no one had given me a bill. i wandered around the reception for a bit wondering what i should do. the nurse came up to me and gave me some papers, one of which was the bill, the other a prescription for i-didn't-know-what. (painkillers) i paid the bill without hassle, and looked around again for the korean who drove me. i didn't think it was possible that he would just leave without me, but his car was gone.

i walked out the back door and into the pharmacy across the street. the korean man found me there... he hadn't left after all. i filled the prescription, picked up some gauze, and then the korena man drove me home. i finally ate my dinner - it was half cooked when everything started - and the rest as they say...

the thing that bothered me the most was not the blood on the floor, or the pain of the needle, but that the doctor didn't even look at me. fine, if you don't speak english, but everyone (in my experience) can at least say hello. every other doctor i've seen since in korea has had some grasp of english... you'd think that a person in medicine would have picked up a little somewhere... so i can't imagine that he didn't look at me because he was shy of his english, so then what was it? bad bedside manner? a hate-on for foreigners? i don't know... either way, it made the experience a lot worse than it had to be... now i have the fun task of finding a way to get the bloody things out of me! and with one of them grown over, that is sure to be another exciting tale.

happy white day!

(or yet another concentrated marketing day in korea)

white day is exactly one month after valentines day. guys are supposed to give candy to the women who gave them chocolate on valentines. rumour has it that this was all started by a marshmallow company in the '60's... "marshmallow day" became white day sometime since then. sorry this is so vague... but it's not easy to get info on these things...

the kids were all hopped up on sugar all day, girls were crying left and right, and i got offerred some candy from other teachers - without knowing why for half the day... why doesn't anyone tell me these things??? anyway, it was a good day overall... met some new classes (finally met all of them!) and took a nice walk at lunch. i'm off to have a beer with the waegooks at B'n'G... haven't been out in what feels like forever!

anyway, happy white day!

vanity at the gym

i was at the gym today (again... since i'm there everyday...) and i was using that sit-down thigh machine... you know, the one where you have your legs spread wide and you have to bring them together... sorry for the visuals on that one... had to be explained though. anyway, i'm sitting there, listening to my ipod, minding my own business (like i always* do) and this woman comes up to me and starts babbling on in korean.

"i'm sorry, i don't speak korean," i say.
"shorts," she replies, "small," and she started to poke at my shorts.

i was in a pretty odd position and my shorts were riding up my thigh a little, but they aren't too small. they're the same ones that i pick up at the gym everyday. i can't read the signs, so i always take a pair from the pile where i got them the first day. anyway, i tried to 'shrug' her off by pretending i didn't know what she was talking about, but she wouldn't let up. even when i started doing my next set she was standing there in my way.

finally i said "well if i don't care then you shouldn't" - not that she could understand what i was saying... but i needed to say it. in all honesty, they might be a tad tight, but not so much that it is offensive... not like all the korean men with their speedos! but just try being a little bigger in a society where size zero is the norm... then tell me how easy it is to find clothes! the woman wasn't even wearing the gym clothe, she had her own fancy and expensive track suit.

eventually she went away... but come on! it's none of your business what i look like at the gym. this is really just another example of the vanity that exists here.

a new look

i finally did it.

i got my hair cut. in korea.

i had been putting it off since before i came to korea. then when i got here i was worried that i'd end up with a mullet... since it is alive and thriving here. i was also worried about the cost. it's not something i like to spend money on - the salon. in montreal you can upwards of a couple of hundred dollars for a wash and style - not that i ever spent that much! but i have spent 60-70$ on my hair and just wasn't prepared to spend that kind of money to be disappointed.

well, neolive proved me wrong! when they told me pal chun won (8,000W) i thought they were mistaken... and the guy thought i was a moron for asking five times... i thought he was telling me 80,000W and that i wasn't understanding him... but nope, it was less than ten dollars!

"before" - in the bathroom at the salon.

"after" you can't see it that well... that's why i have the next one...

"after" - in the bathroom at home.

the back - taken by the hairdresser.

there you have it! oh, and did i mention they didn't wet my hair when they cut it. they just sat me in the chair and started chopping away. that was a little scary, but it all turned out! i love it. i doubt it'll look so good when i do it, since she used a ceramic straightener to make the waves, but i'm sure with the way she cut it i'll be able to figure something out.

let me know what you think!

happy anniversary to me!

Today is my six-month anniversary. I arrived in Korea on August 21st 2006, so even though my contract anniversary isn’t for another week, it has been sixth months since I left the security and comfort of all I know/knew. I know I’ve already talked a lot on this blog about what it has been like for me to adjust to life here, but I feel like today is a special day (plus I’m bored at school with nothing to do). So I thought I’d list some of my favourite and some of my least favourite things about Korea.

Good thing #1 – there is no winter. That’s right. For the first time in my life it hasn’t gotten colder than about –2 degrees Celsius. There is no snow. No bitter wind cutting through your coat and then your skin. Plus winter is shorter here. They’re already saying if spring and February isn’t even over yet! It was so warm on my hike on Monday I had to remove layers and didn’t even need the earmuffs I brought along… I love it!

Bad thing #1 – cud-chewing cows are everywhere. No, not actual cows, but Koreans who chew like them. My biggest pet peeve in life, and it’s the national past time!

Good thing #2 – the food. I love Korean food. I was really worried about this when I arrived since my first taste was on the airplane (and we all know how bad airplane food is). Since then I have discovered a palette for kimchi, jigae, bosum, samgyupsal, bulgogi, dok boki, and numerous other dishes, which I still cannot name, but love. I especially love the Korean notion of side dishes. When you order a plate in a restaurant it automatically comes with three to ten other dishes – at no additional charge! And free refills if you want them! A meal that would cost 25$ in Canada ends up costing like 4$ here.

Bad thing #2 – it’s hard to cook at home. I do it, and I do it quite well, but it’s hard when the instructions are all in Korean and you have to guess what to do by simply looking at the pictures. It’s winds up being a lot of trial and error and more often than not, it’s error.

Good thing #3 – the cost of living is super low. It’s way cheaper to live well here. It helps that I don’t have to pay any rent and bills are relatively cheap as well. On the food front, it would probably be cheaper for me to just eat out all the time than to bother trying to cook.

Bad thing #3 – rudeness. I know you experience rudeness to some degree in every place in the world, but Koreans are particularly good at being rude. From spitting on the street (after hocking the loogie) to bumping into you when there is still five feet available, Koreans just don’t think they’re being rude when they are. Maybe it’s just my western way of thinking, but I just find it gross to listen to someone pull up a chunk from their lungs/throat and then see it hit the ground like a small bomb. Ick. And the bumping into others is a big problem…it’s called personal space, but in Korea it just doesn’t exist.

Good thing #4 – I have made some really great friends that make up for all the rudeness that I deal with on a daily basis.

Bad thing #4 – not understanding/speaking enough of the language. I can get by in daily transactions, and most Koreans are very understanding when I tell them “hangukmal chogum” (Korean little), but I do get the occasional ‘tsking’ and dirty looks because I don’t understand or can’t answer. A couple of the teachers at my school (not English teachers) have actually said to me that if I want to talk to them that maybe I should learn Korean. My reply? Maybe you should learn English! They have, after all, been learning it since childhood! I’ve only been here six months. Still, if I were to stay longer than one year (which I’m not) I would make more of an effort, like I did upon arrival.

I can’t really think of any more at the moment. But if you’ve been reading the blog regularly then you’re probably aware of the other good/bad things that I encounter. I think I’ll go out tonight and hang with the gang and celebrate my anniversary! I can’t believe it’s already half over! So little time and so much left to do. I’ll get on that list ASAP!

crime prevention or waegook watch?

my street

last week as i was walking home i noticed something different about my street. it's a regular street, like any other in my neighbourhood, but there is something different about it now:

security cameras.

they are new. (you can see my building in the background - the one with the "2" on it.) they were put up only last week, and they're the only ones i've seen in my 'hood. i have to wonder why? good thing they put up this sign:

i found (and still find) it strange that there is english on this sign... there isn't any english on any other signs... maybe it's a sign (!) that things are changing? i don't know, but it's odd that four months after moving in, they all of a sudden put up cameras "for the prevention of crimes". does this mean i live in a bad neighbourhood? on a bad street? what is this? a police state?

many questions have been running through my head - being the naturally inquisitive person that i am - and i haven't got an answer for a single one. who can i ask? i don't speak korean so it's not like i can call up the local police station and start asking questions... and even if i could, wouldn't that make them suspicious of me?

i keep wondering if it's to watch me! (lol) you know, checking to make sure that i put my garbage out in the right bag, in the right place, make sure the waegook isn't getting out of control... i know that's silly, and that's half the reason i wrote it, but still... i can't help but wonder all of these things... why my street? why not the next one over? there aren't any shops on my street, just apartments, and parked cars... maybe somebody has been stealing cars lately? i don't know... it's just so strange that i had to write something about it... any ideas???

woe... is me

what will it take? i am here working for the ministry of education of south korea... they plan on having a native english speaker in every public school by (i think) 2010... that's in three years... i wish them luck with their deadline. there are so many things wrong with the system and the way they treat foreigners within it... that i can't see that many people wanting to come - especially if they read about experiences like mine... (i do what i can to get the word out).

once again, i have not been paid on time. my contract stipulates that i am to be paid on the 25th of the month. if the 25th falls on a weekend or a holiday i am to be paid on the preceeding friday - this month, that would be today. but of course, the shortfalls of the gimhae office of education have screwed me over, again, - and on christmas weekend. they don't seem to understand that this is unacceptable.

i went to the bank at 3:30 to take out my money to bring it to a different bank to transfer to my canadian account. i do this every payday. my bank won't do the transfer, so i have to carry over a thousand dollars in my purse two blocks to a bank that will... but when i tried to take it out, it wasn't there.

i called my co-teacher immediately. it took me about half an hour to get hold of him. i told him he had to call the office of education to find out why i wasn't paid yet, he said he'd call me back. when he called back he said that the person in charge of accounting wasn't available, but the other people there said that i would be paid on tuesday!!! i tried to explain to him this was unacceptable - especially this being a long weekend and Christmas, that i had friends coming to visit and my contract says... blah blah blah... that's what i should have said for all the good it did. he gave me the number for the office and told me to call them. well, no one there speaks english, so a load of good that does me.

i just don't know what to do at this point. i mean, i'm okay, money wise, i can always use my canadian accounts - but that's the reason i'm here, to pay off my visa and line of credit - not to use them! i will have to make some kind of official complaint.

so a very merry christmas... hopefully the weekend won't be completely destroyed because of this, it just makes things more difficult... and that is the bigger problem. the people who run this program need to make adjusting to life here as simple and easy as possible, and they don't. point finale.

i also went back to the doctor today because of this cough that won't go away and was told (of all things!!!) that i'm allergic to, get this... the weather. "it's very cold outside" said the doctor. "i'm from CANADA" was my reply... "it's much colder there." but he insisted... and the korean teacher that came with me wasn't able to translate any better than that. so i got another shot and pills for three more days that will hopefully do something... maybe i should go to a traditional doctor for some acupuncture...i'm thinking about it anyway...

so, woe is me... everywhere i go, and everything i do, turns to crap... bad luck? bad karma? maybe that means i have something really great coming my way... trying to stay positive, signing off...

to the doctor...

today, for the second time since my arrival in korea i went to the doctor. this time was quite different than the first.

mrs. Che, one of the english teachers at my school, brought me this time (i guess jay didn't want to have to deal with it). we went to dr choi... the place i went last time, but were told that he would only be in around 10:30 - an hour and a half away. so we went down the street to dr jeong's ENT clinic (ear, nose, throat).

after waiting about ten minutes i was brought into his office where i was sat in a chair surrounded by medical equipment. it almost felt like going to the dentist, except the chair didn't recline. he put on a head lamp - made him look like he should be 200 feet down a mine shaft, not in a doctors office...

he looked at my throat, which he said didn't look so bad - "gamgi" he said, which means "cold" - as if i had to be told that! anyway, then he put this metal tong-like utensil up my left nostril and spread it, to get a better look up my nose. then his assistant sprayed some air, then some liquid, then some more air... all while he was looking up my nose. it was the strangest thing i've ever experienced at the doctors. then they did the same to my right nostril.

then the korean banter started and i have no idea what was said after that... i guess he was just telling her that i was sick and needed a shot - something you always get when you go to the doctor. a lot of people think it's just some kind of placebo to make the patient feel like something is being done, and i'm starting to believe it. when you ask what it is for, no one ever seems to be able to give me a straight answer... but i got it anyway, IF it does do something, then i want it... after the way i've been feeling for the past five days, i'll try anything, and hey, maybe the koreans know something about the common cold that they haven't shared with the rest of us!?!

so after my diagnosis, i was sat in front of a machine that sprayed hot, wet air and told to open my mouth and breathe for one minute... another oddity, but it did feel good on my lungs. then to the little room for the shot and i was released.

all of this cost me just over three dollars. we then went to the pharmacy where i was given pills and cough syrup. all of it individually wrapped for each dose.
no tricky bottles and figuring what is what, just take the pills in each pouch and take the amount of cough syrup that you need... seems so much easier than back home... of course, they do give you four times the number of pills here...

then after a half hour at school waiting to see if i was allowed to go home, i did. i've been napping off and on all day...

tomorrow i'm off to changwon in the morning for some big foreign teacher meeting that people only found out about today or yesterday... gotta love the last minute-ness of everything here... for someone who loves to know "the plan" and what is going on, this is one of the more difficult aspects of living here...

for those of you who are worried or concerned for my well-being here, i'm doing okay, i think that getting sick just made a lot of small things seem a lot worse... i know that everything will work out in the end - i am in control of my own life, and i can go home really, whenever i want... i just hope it doesn't come to that. maybe the meeting tomorrow will make things a lot clearer for all of us. at the very least, i'll get to see a bunch of peeps i haven't seen since august.

more s...h...i...t...

i hope this is just a cold that i have... it's starting to feel like it's mutating into something else... perhaps bronchitis... i'm doing everything in my power to stop it... boo-urns. i feel like crap. i spent most of the day sleeping in the resting room at school today, but don't think i'll get away with it tomorrow.

there's a rumour flying around the epik group (and was basically confirmed by joshua on his comment on my last post) that there is a big meeting in changwon on wednesday. i asked jay about it this morning but he told me he didn't know anything. hopefully he only found out this afternoon and just didn't have the chance to tell me before i left. i have to go to that meeting. it's to discuss how we are all faring here in our roles as english teachers... i have more than a mouthful to share.

if he denies it tomorrow i'm getting on the phone to the provincial office to make sure that he knows we have to attend... two days or in our case, one day notice really isn't cool... just another way the koreans leave everything to the last minute... especially when it comes to the foreigners...

i've been feeling pretty awful lately... i think a lot of it has to do with the cold that has now gripped me. ... of course, all the stuff with the co-teacher doesn't help, and it may be the stress that i've been experiencing at work that lowered my immune system... but whatever the reason, i thought i should try to post something more positive here... just having a little trouble figuring out what that should be.

on thursday at the end of the day jay dropped this off on my desk:

Dear EM

before i write this letter, i'd like to say this: if i have offended you, i really apologize to you. but please don't get me wrong. i didn't mean to offend you. never! ever. i think i shouldn't have charged the work as a co-teacher of the native speaker because i couldn't deliver my message and opinion properly to you. actually i deeply regret taking charge of all the works as a co-teacher. i'd like to learn english english as a co-teacher, but i couldn't do that. i think you are so angry at me. i am maybe selfish as you said. although i have tried to help you. i made many mistakes. all faults are mine. at any rate, i hope that i can deal with the work well until the end of this semesterand i can get along with you. i have had a hard time. it's too difficult for me to take care of you well. i am sorry about that again. you might think that you are unhappy because of me. please be generous and wait for a while. i want you to meet another kind and amiable co-teacher soon. and i wish you could clearly change your uncomfortable mind to Korean like me. i want to be a good person, but you think i am a bad person. then i am a bad person.


This is the letter to inform you about your schedule during the winter vacation. the authorities concerned told me to inform you this fact clearly yesterday. before i let you know you this fact, i'm very sorry to inform youthis fact: you have to come to our school and work as usual except you vacation during the winter vacation according to your contract.
you said to me that you'll have your vacation for 11-12 of january and from 29 of jan to 2 of feb. so you'll have to come to the school 29 of Dec. and from 2-5 of jan and from 8-10 of jan.
i hope you have your wonderful vacation. please forget every bad things and remember good things in this school and korea up to now, and refresh you body and mind during your good holidays. although we have had some troubles and misunderstanding to communicate each other (i'd like to apologize all my mistakes to you again), i really appreciate your earnest efforts and good works. merry christmas! may you have a great luck next year.
sincerely yours from jay

what am i supposed to do with that? i don't know if he's trying to relieve his conscience, trying to guilt me, or what... i just don't know what to think of it. is it just a way to mask the crappy news that i have to go to school when there is no-one else there during the month of january? he's just trying to make it seem like it's not his decision, but it is. his and the vice-principle. but they're making me go in anyway, even though there are no classes, no other teachers, and nothing for me to do. other people i know are "on call" for their school...and still others have to go in, but only for a couple of hours. not for the whole day.

i haven't had a chance to talk about this yet, but hopefully i can get Jo on my side and she can help me... when anyone hears that i have to go sit at school for the entire winter break they can't beleive it... it's just ridiculous... i think that Mr. Cho wants to take me sight seeing for a few days so maybe he can convince the VP to let me off the hook... we'll see.

hopefully things will start looking up. i'm trying to stay positive, but it's not easy when it feels like the world is dumping on you... but as they say, chin up... and i'm trying.

the blahs.

will the urge to just get on a plane and fly home ever go away?

i had a terrible day today. don't know if i'm hormonal, depressed, or still in culture shock... maybe all three, but i just want to be home. not that i have one of those anymore, i just want to be near anything familiar.

i miss:
my friends.
my mom and dad.
university life.
english (or even french) everywhere.
being comfortable.
nice co-workers.
salt and vinegar chips.
diet coke.
harvey's.
clothes dryers.
bread.
cheese.
home-made chili.
christmas.
and on and on and on and on... and on...

i hope the weekend can get me out of this funk. i hate being here - korea and the head space that it puts me in... why do i let it get to me?

part of the reason i came here was to prove to myself that i could something like this, but i'm seriously doubting myself today. maybe things will look better in the morning...?

what a waste...of space, time, energy... you name it.

so i know i keep complaining about my dork of a co-teacher, but i just have to... it gets worse every week. let me begin with monday morning.

i arrived at school at ten past eight (ten minutes early, like i do every day). i still didn't have my schedule for the week - i'm the only teacher i know whose schedule changes every week - but waited, as usual, for him to give it to me. i probably should have gone and asked him for it after first period started, but i wanted to see how long it would take him. at 10:04:45 AM he came to and dropped the schedule on my desk. surprise, surprise, i had a class at 10:05.

he didn't even say anything to me and walked away. i said "this is unacceptable" and he turned back. "oh, sorry. it was done on friday i just didn't have time to give it to you." didn't have time? between friday and monday at 10am he didn't have time? had i not been sitting there for almost two hours? had he not been in the room? what does it take to just hit print and leave it on my desk???

"you'd better get to class," he said to me. "excuse me?"
"you heard me, get to class."
"i don't even know what i'm supposed to be teaching these kids, i saw them two days ago. i'm only supposed to see them every two weeks."
"well, just go"

i stayed at my desk trying to figure out what to bring to class and two minutes later he brought me a different schedule and repeated "you'd better get to class." it was already ten minutes into the period, i looked at the schedule, cross-referenced with my excel worksheet of classes and what i've done with them already - thank god i'm so organized... though i have to be with the kind of schedule he gives me all the time... it never makes sense - there are some classes that i haven't seen for weeks and others that i am seeing two times in one week, two weeks in a row... i've offered to make my own schedule but he refuses saying it's his job.... but then when i say it's unacceptable for him to give it to me so late, he says that it's my responsibility to ASK him for it. WTF? i digress.

i asked him if the teacher in this class knows that i'm coming and he says yes. i look on my map of the school to figure out where i'm going (i usually leave with a teacher who takes me - with 38 classes i still haven't figured it out). as i'm walking to class, he comes running down the hall after me - he hasn't given the schedule to the korean english teacher that i'm working with.

as he catches up, i turn around and say "this is unacceptable, you are going to call the office of education right now and get me transferred to a co-teacher who can do his job!" what is his answer? "it doesn't matter, in a month you're going to a different school anyway."

EXCUSE ME????????? he wouldn't elaborate. of course not, i'm not privy to that kind of information until the last possibe moment. everything must be kept secret from the foreigner. i've asked Jo to ask him and he said he would get more information, i don't believe him.

anyway, monday goes by, i stopped talking to him and haven't even said as much as hello to him since then, nor he to me. but TODAY i had a "business trip". a meeting at the office of education (on the other side of the city - 45 minutes on the bus, there and then back)... well, as it turns out, i wasn't supposed to go to this meeting, it was for the Korean english teachers of the winter camp that i'm working at, and not the foreign teachers.

so i wasted all afternoon to go to a meeting that i didn't even need to be at, all thanks to the dumbass that we all know as my co-teacher. this guy is giving teaching in Korea a bad name. i feel like going home and making it clear that it is ALL because of him. i hope i DO get transferred, it may just be the blessing in disguise that i need. thank god it's mini weekend and i can get out with the ex-pats tonight.

korean commercials

i've been meaning to write about this since i stopped watching korean tv about a month and a half ago... yes, i have a tv in my apartment and it's not even plugged in. when i first got here it was my saviour. i could find many an american show to watch; friends, gilmore girls, alias (not that i did), everybody hates chris, sex and the city, and many many more.

for the first two weeks i could deal with the commercials by changing the channel or using the oh-so-convenient 'mute' button on my remote. as time passed, however, i got so sick and tired of the commercials that i just started downloading tv onto my computer - commercial free.

so, what makes korean commercials so bad? well, first, they aren't interspersed throughout the show like in NA - they are on for about 15-20 minutes straight. they often repeat the same ad several times, and sometimes the same one is on back to back. second, korean commercials (a lot of them anyway) are much akin to north american informercials - a man and a woman standing in front of a product and (to my ears anyway) yelling at you to buy it OR they have really bad K-pop (korean pop music) playing.

but the number one reason i stopped was cause i couldn't get the sunkist lemonade ad song out of my head. even after not hearing it for weeks it just pops into my head and i have to go buy some lemonade. the kids at school sing the song in the halls too. there is no escaping it. so, for your viewing/listening pleasure, here it is. it's slightly different than the one that i saw on tv, but you get the idea. argh!

now try to tell me that you'd keep watching after hearing that two or three times in a row ten times a night!

the short stick...part deux

this morning jo (my amazing korean english teacher) told me that she arranged a sit-down with my co-teacher and me after last period today. she told me that she would attend as well. all day i was worried about it, trying to figure out what i would say and how i would say it. but she had already told him about the letter i wrote - i don't know what else she said about it, but it seemed like he was freaking out a bit that i'd told her about the sauna and his kids etc...

he apologized for everything. i apologized for calling him an asshole (though it felt great at the time, i did feel bad about it).

we agreed to start at zero; to try and communicate better (i've heard that one before); that he would tell me when he doesn't understand me - turns out half the time he has no idea what i'm saying; that if i need anything i will ask jo and if she doesn't know she'll ask him if need be; and finally that we would be amicable to each other no matter what.

hopefully the situation is resolved - i certainly feel a lot better for having had the chance to tell him that he made me doubt my decision in coming here and that i wanted to go home after the way he treated me last week. i'm feeling good about it all now, and hopefully things will stay this way. jo was worried about me and how i seemed so unhappy for the last few days, which i was, but i think that it'll all be okay...

even though i originally got the short stick, i think i just picked a new one and it's a lot bigger than the last. :)

ebb and flow

today was a pretty good day. i felt like i could just shake it all off... one of my team teachers told me that she would talk to my co-teacher with me and help me find a solution to my problem with him - but i think it's more than that. i just felt able to deal with all the shit - ebb and flow - dealing with culture shock is all about recognizing it, and then being as positive about it all as you can... maybe i've been repressing a lot of my feelings of culture shock and that's why it hit me all at once... i think i can do it now...

school was pretty good. i did some good lessons on pronunciation of tee aitch (TH)... since the most used word in the english language is 'the' i thought it would be good for them to be able to say it, instead of 'duh' it also helps them distinguish between "s" words. it was all right. in my other classes we played broken telephone - always a hit since it's a game. little do they know they're practising their english at the same time... it's perfect - listening and speaking... they understand how important it is when the message gets messed up in the middle and they don't get the answer right. i get to play it in almost every class for the rest of the week... good times!

things are looking up, and hopefully they'll stay that way. at least i'm prepared for the tide now...

gum chewers

anyone who knows me really well, knows that my biggest "pet peeve" is people who chew like cows. as it turns out, i have come to the land of the cud chewing koreans... everywhere i go lips are smacking, tongues are flapping, and gum is snapping... i can't get away from it.

i was on the bus today and the bus driver was driving me insane with his gum popping in his mouth like little tiny explosions every three seconds... i turned up my ipod as loud as i could handle it and i could still hear his gum in his mouth. i moved to the back of the bus, and there was a passenger doing the same thing... i don't know if it's their bad teeth, or if they like doing it, but koreans could use a lesson in chewing. see what i've been saying about the frustrations? *sigh...

culture shock

i'm having an "i hate korea" week. it's always up and down, but yesterday i actually pulled out my contract to see if there's a way for me to get out of this. i also checked how much it would cost me to fly home. it's not an option at this juncture...

it's not that i really hate korea, i'm just so frustrated with all kinds of things. i'm straight back into culture shock phase 2 - the worst phase to be in.

phase one is the "honeymoon" phase. it's when you first arrive and everything is so new and wonderful. like when i discovered the plastic wrap for your umbrella when you walk into a store, or figured out that i liked kimchi after all, or realized that korea is full of really nice people, and that i would be ok.

phase two is when the honeymoon is over - you begin to realize that is really isn't so easy to adapt to a new culture, country, language, customs, people...etc... you begin to feel frustration over not being able to communicate, and the entire place feels like it's out to get you.

phase three is when you start to have a better understanding of the culture. things seem like thye'll be all right, you're happy again, and life is moving along smoothly.

phase four is when you realize there are good and bad things in the new culture, but you are ok with it and you feel a solid sense of belonging.

ya, phase two is the worst, and from my experience, there is a very fine line between two and three. i felt like i was in three, but now i'm back to two, and i just hate being there. my dork of a co-teacher is making me feel like crap over what happened, even though i know i shouldn't, he still hasn't spoken to me. that part doesn't really bother me much, but he's gone and thrown out all the good that i saw in this place.

last night, for instance, i was trying to get a cab and i saw one coming so i flagged it. well, it just sped right past me (no, there was no one else in it). i know that this can happen everywhere, but i was really angry - i never know if it's because i'm a foreigner or because the person is a dickhead. more and more i feel like korean aren't so nice to foreigners. they resent us for some reason, maybe we represent something they know they'll never have... maybe they're jealous because they can't speak english and wish they did... maybe they're just racist, or sexist in my case... i don't know, but so much of the time i feel like i have a huge target tattooed on my forehead... and i hate the feeling.

it hadn't been bothering me of late, and then bang! just like that this week i can't deal with it. i just want to scream and shout and swear at them all. i get dirty looks when i walk down the street, when i'm in stores, on the bus, everywhere i go. if i'm smoking it's even worse, but that's a whole other story.

i'm sure that i'll get through this. i'm stuck in my contract until at least march - that's the 6 month point when i don't have to pay back my airfare here, but will still get stuck footing the bill for the way home. i'm trying to stay positive, but it just isn't as easy as that.

i figure that regular school is only until december 27th, so that's like five weeks... then i won't have to work with my co-teacher again until mid-february, and maybe i can get a transfer if things don't improve. there are tons of other schools around, and like i said, march 1 is the six month mark and i can just break my contract and a) go home or b) get a job at a hakwon (while forfeiting my year-end bonus and having to wait another year for it, if i stay).

i'll just have to see how long it takes me to get back into phase three, hopefully it won't be long. right now it feels like never...