They say culture shock can last for years. I believe them. I was having a good run of things, despite all the 'crap'; I was feeling pretty good, in general, about being here. The last week has seen a resurgence of my culture shock. I’m not sure what triggered it, but everything i do makes it worse.
A friend of mine recently wrote a post on her blog about how when you’re far away from home emotions are heightened. When you’re up, you’re really UP, and when you’re down, you’re really DOWN. I’m in the latter at the moment.
I think it may have something to do with the realization that I’ll be going home in about three months; then what? I’ve been thinking too much about the future and it’s freaking me out. It’s also making me feel like I'm wasting my time here... I just want to get on with it.
It may also have something to do with having gotten out of here and seen something different in Japan. It just brought home a lot of things about Korea that I don’t like.
It’s also partly realizing that Koreans don’t trust foreigners. Everywhere I go I get sidelong glances and dirty looks from the Koreans I see. They look at me like I’m about to steal the candy out of their babes’ mouths. Last night was the clincher, I won't go into details, but a bunch of us were out for the night, and the Koreans kept treating us all like criminals; searching purses, accusing us of not paying, and guarding us like inmates about to break out. Compounded with how I've been feeling all week, it made for a VERY bad night, and an increase in my hate-on for Korea.
All I wanted to do was come to Korea, teach their children some English and have an experience I would never forget. Well, I certainly won’t forget the past eight and half months, and the next three are bound to be just as memorable. Korea, as I’ve said many times before, is a homogeneous and xenophobic society, that is unwelcoming to anything from the outside. I just can’t deal with it anymore… I’m sick of pretending like everything in Korea is so fantastic and wonderful. Yes, there are good things about being here, but right now I'm having a hard time seeing that side of things.
I guess this week the bad stuff is just playing center stage in my head… I feel like I’m back in October again. Stuck in stage two culture shock with no way out but to sit and wait for time to pass. Hopefully the next few months will pass as quickly as the last eight have and I’ll get through it. I know I can, I just can’t see how right now.
A friend of mine recently wrote a post on her blog about how when you’re far away from home emotions are heightened. When you’re up, you’re really UP, and when you’re down, you’re really DOWN. I’m in the latter at the moment.
I think it may have something to do with the realization that I’ll be going home in about three months; then what? I’ve been thinking too much about the future and it’s freaking me out. It’s also making me feel like I'm wasting my time here... I just want to get on with it.
It may also have something to do with having gotten out of here and seen something different in Japan. It just brought home a lot of things about Korea that I don’t like.
It’s also partly realizing that Koreans don’t trust foreigners. Everywhere I go I get sidelong glances and dirty looks from the Koreans I see. They look at me like I’m about to steal the candy out of their babes’ mouths. Last night was the clincher, I won't go into details, but a bunch of us were out for the night, and the Koreans kept treating us all like criminals; searching purses, accusing us of not paying, and guarding us like inmates about to break out. Compounded with how I've been feeling all week, it made for a VERY bad night, and an increase in my hate-on for Korea.
All I wanted to do was come to Korea, teach their children some English and have an experience I would never forget. Well, I certainly won’t forget the past eight and half months, and the next three are bound to be just as memorable. Korea, as I’ve said many times before, is a homogeneous and xenophobic society, that is unwelcoming to anything from the outside. I just can’t deal with it anymore… I’m sick of pretending like everything in Korea is so fantastic and wonderful. Yes, there are good things about being here, but right now I'm having a hard time seeing that side of things.
I guess this week the bad stuff is just playing center stage in my head… I feel like I’m back in October again. Stuck in stage two culture shock with no way out but to sit and wait for time to pass. Hopefully the next few months will pass as quickly as the last eight have and I’ll get through it. I know I can, I just can’t see how right now.
2 comments:
Wow, you must have been at a different bar than me. I don't remeber multiple purses being searched or feeling like an inmate. very different perspective.
it is indeed a homogeneous society, but I've been finding the longer I'm here, the more welcoming it is, in its own quirky ways -- I'm sorry to hear that you've had a rough time of late, and I'm happy to hear things are getting better again!
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