Thursday 2 August 2007

it's actually august

I can't believe how quickly time goes by. I know I’ve said this before on this blog... but everything is just happening so fast and it's making me think too much. I’m leaving for Thailand on Saturday. First stop is Seoul for the day - where I will finally buy my digital SLR!!! My flight leaves from Incheon international airport on Sunday at 9 AM. So this might be the last post for a while, though I haven't been posting much of late anyway, and for that, I am sorry.

It’s amazing that I’ve made it. I have a total of eight teaching days left. Tomorrow is the last day of summer camp and then I have seven days when I return from Thailand. If you had asked me in November if I’d still be here in August the answer would have been NO WAY! But here I am, and much better/happier for it too.

I’m really happy that I stayed. I know that I would have regretted leaving and I don’t like to have regrets. Every year around the time of my birthday I inevitably think back on my life and try to come to terms with the bad things that have happened, and to revel in the good. This year is no exception. (I know it’s still another couple of weeks to the “big day” but like I said, things are moving fast and making me think a lot.

I’ve recently been in touch with a lot of old friends thanks to the oh-so-addictive facebook. It’s great to get in touch, but not so great to think of the friends that seem to be lost forever. (Why isn’t everyone on facecrack???) Thinking about certain people makes me realize that I do, in fact, have regrets – though I try to tell myself I don’t – but I do. There are some things in life that I would change if I could, but then where would I be today? I can't let myself regret most things, because what I have done in my life is what has made me who I am, right? Still, there are situations that I wish would have gone differently. I've learned, though, from those "mistakes" to always ask myself if I will regret doing or not doing something.

It was the same exactly one year ago when I was deciding to actually come here or not. I felt like I was leaving things behind and that they would never be the same, and I thought that if I stayed in Canada, that maybe things wouldn’t change (yeah, naïve, I know). A friend told me that if I didn’t then I would always wonder “what if?” and I decided that I would regret not coming, so here I am. And a year later I know it was the right thing.

Well, now I’m wondering if going home is “the right thing” to do. I am going home. It’s a done deal. At least I know that I can come back anytime I want (I think that’s something else I told myself upon my arrival here). Something in the back of my mind keeps telling me that I need to find “the next big adventure” and I know that that adventure is life. I may be turning the BIG 3-0 in a few weeks, but that doesn’t mean I have to settle down, does it? Because I don’t think I’m ready, and I really don’t want to. Anyone have a boat and want to sail around the world with me?

***

Even though I’m leaving Korea in a month I’ve already started saying my goodbyes. A lot of waegooks are going to their home countries for the month of August and most of them will only be back after I leave. So, to those of you who I will most likely never see again, “Cheers! Maybe see you in another life.”

3 comments:

Jon said...

Getting close to the big birthday. Nah, it's not really that bad!

Let me know if you want a gift! Maybe some accessory for your new camera or something?

katrina said...

have fun in thailand.

looking forward to the 25th.

will miss you when you're back in canada...

30 should be easy, you've already had one year to practice...!

kat.

Travelling Chick said...

well put my friend...well put..
30 is the new 20 and YES it's time to find your next adventure...:) see you soon...or on a boat in the middle of the Pacific perhaps? xx