Friday 19 March 2010

changes?

I probably shouldn't be posting anything on here right now... after an evening out at the pub with (my lovely) work mates... but here goes anyway. (please, excuse any spelling or etc errors since i've had more than my share of pints...)

My running has been severely waylaid (sp?) first because I was working like a mother f$@!er (7 out of 8 days for 10 hours a day for a few weeks...) and now because my back has decided to revert to its old ways and give me constant pain. I was on week 4 of my 10 week training for about three weeks... which was ok, given I was only running once or twice a week and I just didn't feel ready to move on... of course as soon as I thought "oh! next time I'll move to week five", my back went into spasm, where it has remained for a week or so. It's not as bad as it has been in the past. Maybe because I know the signs and what to do, or maybe because it just isn't as bad, I don't know, either way, there is no running for me at the moment :( I'm rather upset about it, because it (the running) makes me feel really good and as much as it hurts, I really have to push myself and it's amazing when I succeed.... the whole point of the exercise (literally and figuratively).

Anyway, I was on my first 'out and about' VJ shift today and it wasn't so much the carrying of the kit as the standing for long periods that really bothered it... but I made it through the day, which I think is a testament to my dedication to my job. Which, by the way, I really do love, even if I moan about it. Mostly I get lazy and don't feel like going out, but I'm always hapy and surprised by the outcome.

I know that I'm really good at what I do, (and not to try and sound conceited) but I think I would be no matter what it was, since I care. You really do have to enjoy what you do, or it's a big waste of time for everyone... especially in journalism.

It seems to me that you can tell when something has been done out of love versus something that has been done out of obligation, whether it be for work, or in general life. But in video journalism, you really can see the difference when someone cares about what they are doing.

For example... a few weeks ago, London Fashion Week (LFW) hit this beautiful city, and while I didn't attend any of the shows, I was specifically scheduled on packaging (editing the raw footage into 'watchable' segments. It wasn't by accident. I LOVE editing. I love being able to get creative with my editing. LFW gives the perfect opportunity to do this. Using effects and motion and letting the "art" (as I consider most catwalk fashion to be art) speak for itself. (I wish I had a copy of something I could post here...) Suffice it to say, that I loved doing it, and it really showed. People at work commented on how good it was and they could see the shine in my eyes when it was done...

All this to say, that for the most part I really do love my job. I love the people I work with (mostly) and I love the diversity it provides me (especially). Now, with the prospect of potentially (and I don't want to jinx it, but probably am in writing this) working at the same kind of job for a different company, I just don't know. I suppose, it will all come clear after I talk to them a little more... And again, while not trying to jinx it all, it's really nice to feel like maybe I am really good at what I do after all...

I'm not being wooed, per say, as I have been actively looking elsewhere (if you don't appreciate the talent you have, it will go elsewhere!) but it's just such a scary, uncertain jump to make. God I hope no one from work has happened upon this... And I'm rambling now, so, I apologise... but I have a big week ahead of me, and while I haven't got the new job, it may just come sooner than I think...

Everyone I've spoken to thinks this is a good thing, and it may very well be, but who can tell the future?

As I said this evening to one of my (now former - it was her leaving drinks tonight) colleagues... journalists don't like change... since we deal with it on an almost minute to minute basis, but what we need to realise is that in the grand scheme of things, change can be really good. The thing is, is that as soon as you get used to something it seems the time for change has already come around again...

adendum... Woah. Talk about getting into it, sort of. Not the post I had in mind when I started... but that's the great thing about this... I can just ramble on and talk out loud... thanks for listening... hope I make some kind of sense!